Fostering/adopting as a same sex couple

Fostering/adopting as a same sex couple
Posted on 06/26/2019
Start your Care Provider journey: See How To. Call 519-455-9000 ext. 2784. Email: [email protected]

When we were approached to share our fostering and adoption experience as a same sex couple, I was unsure what we could add to the table. My wife and I talked it over, and for us we never felt like our sexual orientation made any difference to anyone we came across throughout our experience at the Children’s Aid Society of London & Middlesex. From our inquiry, to our home study, the matching worker, our resource worker, our kids and even the kids’ biological family, our orientation was not an issue.  

We realize we were very fortunate when it came to biological family. That’s when it occurred to us, that this is where our story is!  This is what we have share with you.  We are proof that you can take something as complicated as foster care and adoption and know that everyday people can do it!   I recalled hearing at some point during the approval process that the Workers want to help you succeed and it is completely true! They want kids to have safe, loving, caring homes and, when necessary, an adoptive family. They are in your corner.

As a couple, the prospect of fostering and adopting seemed so overwhelming that we initially didn't know where to start. We made the call to our local CAS agency and had our first visit. The Social Worker that came to visit us was amazing! She immediately put us at ease, answered all our questions, even some we didn't know we had, and laid out the process. 

That was the beginning of a 2.5-year journey that lead to our adoption of two boys in March 2019.  The process can be long, and it can be challenging. One thing we appreciated was that the Workers were open and honest, even if it wasn't always what we wanted to hear. 

If you are at all questioning whether fostering and/or adopting might be right for you and your family, here are some things to consider. 

1. Do you have a strong desire to help children or youth? One of the things I hear repeatedly is "I couldn't do it, I'd get too attached. What if they go back?" It's a valid concern and I totally understand it but consider this...we are supposed to attach to children! That's how they grow to be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted adults. You see, foster care isn't about us, it's about the kids. 

2. Where are you at in your life?  Can you provide stability to a child or youth?  My best advice? Make the call, get the information, decide if it's right for you. Don’t let your gender identity or sexual orientation stop you.

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