What Truly Matters

What Truly Matters
Posted on 06/16/2018

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I have always wanted to be a mother. I have dreamt about it for years. When infertility threatened my dream, my partner and I decided to pursue adoption through the Children’s Aid Society of London and Middlesex. We knew there were children in our community who needed us and, as an indigenous woman, I felt this could be a way for me to help my cultural community.

I can truly say it has been the best and worst experiences we have ever had. Throughout the training I understood that the child who came to us may not stay permanently. I knew that relatives of the child could come forward and the child may go to them. I thought I was prepared for that possibility. 

It was only a few weeks after we became approved to foster/adopt that we “got the call.” There was a baby boy, only 12 hours old, who needed a home. Again, we were reminded that anything could happen. This could be temporary or permanent placement. We were also told the baby had an older sister who was two years old and living temporarily in a foster home. 

About one week after being home with the baby, an aunt came forward. We were heartbroken, but decided we would do whatever we could to help make the transition the best for the baby. For the next three months we loved and cared for the baby. We supported visits with his aunt and built a great relationship with her. When the court date came, we prepared the baby’s things and included the life book we had created as a keepsake. Nothing could prepare us for loving a child and having to say goodbye. We feel fortunate that, because of the wonderful relationship we had developed with his family, they send us pictures and updates. He is loved and cared for and that is what truly matters. 

Through this experience remained our knowledge of his sister. We already loved her even though we did not know her and wanted to continue with our plan to adopt her. Before moving ahead, it was important that we allowed ourselves time to grieve the loss of the baby. It was hard. I cried a lot. I put all the baby things into the baby room and closed the door. It was several weeks before I could clean the room. Then, I put away all the baby things and repainted. For me, it was a way to let go and have a fresh start. 

A couple of months later we met our little girl. The transition to living with us moved quickly and the bond that grew is amazing. It feels like we knew we were meant for each other. We now have our happily ever after.   

Jamie is a mother through adoption. From her experience she leaves us with this: “The journey to adoption is challenging. There will be hard times. Your heart will break. But in the end, the journey leads you to something beautiful.”


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